Big Time

My partner kissed me on the lips and then got into a taxi headed towards the airport where he would get on a plane to Japan for a job that would keep him there for a minimum of two years. Before the taxi was out of sight I texted him, “We can do this, right?” to which he replied, “Big time.” Two days later I started punching holes into found 16mm film as a way to stay grounded. The resulting footage is a symbolic representation of the way I experience anxiety, which is primarily through repetitive, racing thoughts. The audio is a field recording from Shibuya Station, that my partner sent me on his way to work one morning, which felt like a love letter from him. This film is about long distance, communication, affection and also about working through being an anxiously attached adult as a result of living through an unstable childhood.