Red Green, DVD (2001)

Duct Tape Virtuoso Deluxe

To me, technology is a subversive plot by all the geeks of the world to complicate our lives to the point where we become as useless as they are. Man's basic needs are food, clothing and shelter. Not food, clothing, shelter and a 600MZ CPU with 128 megs of RAM and a 32-gigabyte hard drive. I wish they'd just leave us all alone. If life is too simple for you, get married. Up here at Possum Lodge, we have our own rules about technology: 'If you're standing in a puddle, don't touch anything that hums,' and 'Don't trust anything that has no moving parts. Especially if it's a relative.' But I decided to bend our rules a bit when I made this DVD because it gave me a chance to use the Handyman's Secret Weapon - duct tape - and it gives you a chance to get a new Red Green show you won't be embarrased to display on your video shelf because the edge is so small, no one will be able to tell what it is! So grab a cold beverage, your DVD remote, and go nuts. I did.